FACECRIME Vol. 1984

The Anti-Meta Glasses Campaign

Facecrime

Anonymity Is Strength

MMXXVI

Scroll ↓

01 — Position

Every room
is a dataset.

They put a camera on a pair of glasses and called it a conversation. Now every dinner, every gym, every pharmacy queue is somebody's b-roll. You were not asked. There is no button to press, no setting to disable — because you are not the user. You are the scenery.

FACECRIME is a collection of high-utility concealment garments: heavyweight merino, cut for a face, with F*CK META embroidered above the brow at the exact height a wearable lens finds first. It will not stop a satellite. It will absolutely ruin a candid.

Model in a pale blue balaclava with a jewelled collar
Fig. 01Corridor B — 07:41

02 — Campaign

Dressed for
a room that
logs you.

Shot under fluorescent light in an empty corporate lobby, because that is where it actually happens. Not in a crowd. In a lift. At a reception desk. Beside a colleague who is very excited about their new glasses.

  • PhotographyIn-House
  • LocationUndisclosed Lobby
  • Consent ObtainedYes — Unusual
  • Faces HarvestedNone

03 — Product Manifest

The Collection

Eight colourways. Exactly 84 units each — no restock, no exceptions, no waitlist we can be subpoenaed for. One size, fits all surveillance states. Every piece is €19.84.

Status

Pre-order. Not yet manufactured. Paid in full at checkout.

Dispatch

Within 30 days of order. Late, and you get a new date or your money back.

Territory

European Union only. Shipping included in the €19.84.

Changed your mind

14-day right of withdrawal, plus cancel any time before dispatch. Terms of Sale

Vacuum-sealed in anti-static silver. Shipped in unmarked packaging. The courier does not know either.

04 — Specification

Technical
Drawing

Material
19.5μ merino, heavyweight 2×2 rib. Non-conductive, non-reflective, non-negotiable.
Aperture
Three-hole. Sized to defeat landmark detection at brow, nose bridge and jaw.
Front Detail
Contrast satin-stitch embroidery, 42mm. Reads at four metres. Reads in 4K.
Back Detail
Woven label: security-camera eye, and the coordinates 37.4845° N, 122.1477° W.
Weight
84g. Roughly one smartphone of protest.
Data Collected
0 bytes. This is the entire product.
Care
Cold wash. Do not tumble dry. Do not consent.

05 — Verification

Scan to
Authenticate

Point a camera at yourself. The system will attempt to identify you and it will fail. The failure is the product demonstration.

▣

CAMERA OFFLINE

STANDBY --:--:--

Diagnostic Output

Faces detected—
Landmarks—
Identity—
Packets sent0

Runs entirely inside your browser, on your own device. No frame is uploaded, stored or analysed — there is no server here to send one to. Stop the feed at any time.

Model in a pink balaclava with jewelled chains
Fig. 02Untagged, and staying that way

06 — Ambient Threat

Glasshole
Radar

A live-looking scan for camera-equipped eyewear in your immediate vicinity. It is entirely fictional. That is rather the point.

YOU
DeviceDistState

    Simulation only. No Bluetooth, network, or location data is accessed by this page. Every device below is invented by a random number generator that has never met you.

    07 — Packaging

    Product
    Recall Notice

    Every unit ships vacuum-sealed in anti-static silver, with the following document enclosed.

    FACECRIME ESD SAFE · 84/84
    FORM 101-A ISSUED MMXXVI

    Notice of Voluntary Recall

    Affected Product: The Human Face (all units, all territories, manufactured continuously since approx. 200,000 BCE).

    Nature of Defect: Units were distributed without access controls. Under normal operating conditions the product may be duplicated, indexed, embedded and retained indefinitely by third parties without the knowledge or consent of the registered owner. This behaviour is not a malfunction. It is the current specification.

    Risk Assessment: Non-fatal. Persistent. Cumulative.

    Remedy: The manufacturer is unable to issue a replacement. Owners are advised to fit the enclosed aftermarket accessory over the affected component when operating in public, semi-public, or professionally networked environments.

    Consumer Action Required: None. That has always been the problem.

    VOID WHERE OBSERVED Issued under the Terms of Surrender

    08 — Iconography

    Five Symbols

    Orwell's, reissued for a company with a quarterly earnings call.

    09 — Manifesto

    Ignorance Anonymity is strength

    Big Brother Zuck is watching

    2 + 2 = 5 User + Data = 0

    The camera is no longer an object you choose to look at; it is an atmosphere you breathe. Every room is a dataset. Every face is an unmined asset.

    FACECRIME is a collection of high-utility concealment garments designed for the age of casual surveillance. Inspired by the bureaucratic precision of Orwellian systems and the clean lines of modern luxury, this collection introduces structural blindspots into the social landscape.

    We do not hide out of fear. We hide to reclaim ownership of our geometry.

    Big Brother isn't a dictator on a screen anymore. He's a peer wearing smart glasses.

    Opt out. — FACECRIME

    10 — Glossary

    Newspeak,
    Revised

    11 — Release

    Vol. 1984

    84 units per colourway. No ads. No algorithm. Coordinates released to the list, once, and then never again.

    00Days
    00Hrs
    00Min
    00Sec

    Pre-orders are live at €19.84 — European Union only, dispatched within 30 days. This mailing list is decorative and submits nowhere; buy from the collection instead.